June Roses at Der Rosenmeister

Today we had a chance to visit Der Rosenmeister Roses in Ithaca. Having had my first tour of Leon Ginenthal's gardens only once before (when precious little was in bloom), I was not prepared for seeing his gardens today. Roses of every color, shape and size. Blooming in such a profusion! And the smell was intoxicating.

In addition to his roses, Leon also has beautiful raised perennial beds. His selection of cultivars is simply astonishing.

So... we took out our cameras and went to town! Aurora and I both were clicking away, while Nancy was greeted by Emma, their dog. Eventually the chickens made their way to the forefront. Talk about beautiful!




(Okay, I have used that word, "beautiful", waaaay too many times in this post. My apologies. You'll just need to see you for yourself!)

Fighting Back With What Little I Have Left

As anyone who has read this blog even once since September knows, my life has had its share of ups and downs. In the past week I have been poked, prodded, sampled, tested, wired,... all in the name of figuring out why I suffer from extreme fatigue during the day, and why I can't stay asleep at night.

After seeing my cardiologist 5 times in May, he (and my GP) suggested emphatically, that I get a sleep study done. They both were concerned about sleep apnea. Guess what? Sleep apnea kills. It can kill you quick by allowing you to fall asleep at the wheel (which I do almost everytime I drive into Ithaca) or it can do it slowly by trashing your blood pressure, adrenal system and your immune system.

I did the sleep study on Wednesday night. I won't share with you all that I have learned since then only because I am still processing it. None of it was good news. Yesterday my GP called me at home on a Saturday to let me know that my last round of blood-sugar tests came back. Looks like diabetes wants to play too.







I have tried to stay upbeat through this recovery. I have tried to keep my head up, focus on the healing and I have kept myself optimistic by reassuring myself that soon everything would be fine. I guess "soon" means different things now than it used to. So, we fix the sleep apnea (I hope to be fitted for a CPAP as early as next Thursday), then we deal with the huge weight gain since January. See if that kicks the shit out of the diabetes. If so, sometime in September, we re-run some of these heart tests and see if we can keep this body of mine from stroking out. Wish me luck till then! Here's hoping there is a night of solid sleep on my horizon. It's been seven months without a single solid night of sleep. I think they call this torture.



I guess the final question must be: What's with all the freakin' flowers if life sucks so bad? Well... if I can't jump in my kayak (abs are too destroyed and the hernia is too fragile), and I can't make pots in any serious manner... well... the options get fewer. I can sit around the house and dose myself with food, pain killers and boredom.... or I can find beauty around my yard. If I can catch even a glimpse of that gorgeous light once or twice a day, then it feels like something positive has come from the doing.

This weekend I had a chance to take pictures of Aurora with alternating grandparents. First her maternal grandmother on Friday and then Nancy's folks came over on Saturday. (That will likely be tomorrow's post.) I love working with portraiture. I find it extraordinarily difficult, but if I can make just one great image, I feel like it was worth the work. Anyone feel like they want to sit for a portrait anytime soon? Seriously. I need subjects who are willing to sit for 45min to an hour. If you're willing, I would love to give it a whirl. Location of your choosing. We can do it in the coffee shop, the gardens, the woods, the lakeside... just about anywhere you desire.

With that said... perhaps that explains a little more about why I shoot flowers. They are available when everyone else is either at school or at work. They will hold still for an hour so I can bend the light to catch just the right sparkle. And maybe, once in a while, they capture something human.

In Times of Green

In the past week, we have watched our garden race from the early Spring yellows and pinks, headlong into the heat of Summer with rich purples and thick greens. It got hot and humid all at once last week. We went from being able to work in the garden all day, straight into that time where even early in the morning it was just too sticky. So, when you can't be out weeding, the camera calls instead!

My birthday came early this year as my camera gear bag increased by way of a Hoodman Loupe. If you have ever despaired from having assumed you had the perfect exposure while looking down into your LCD on the back of your camera in full daylight only to get home and realize you blew it. Your highlights are big splotchy white blobs and your shadows are clumpy. Yeah, and nothing's in focus. Shit happens right? Well.... this loupe allows you to block out almost all the light hitting your LCD so you can focus on the image at hand. You can see the detail of focus. You can zoom in and really look at pixels if need be. Most importantly though is that you can really examine the image without trying to block incoming light from driving you nuts with glare. I had a blast playing with it today. TOO much fun. Built to last a long while.

Having been clued into their website by numerous photographers, I took a gander at their right-angle viewfinder. Yeah, I would be able to simply look down and not have to crane my neck when shooting below my waist or off a tripod when shooting plants and such. I guess this will have to wait till we see sales pick up in a few more weeks. Here's hoping Memorial Day weekend is wonderful, busy and fun.

Some Friends Help

And some friends help hide the body parts.

Marc is one of those guys.

He may be the most squeamish chickenshit in the room, but when I was tied to every fuckin' hose in the ICU, he was there. When my body was blown up to twice its normal size and wires and IVs were coming out of every orifice... he was there.

Every bone in his body said flee! but he came anyway.

When I started coming out of the coma, I was hooked to a trach-tube. That meant my mouth was open and suffering from chronic cotton-mouth. Due to the tracheostomy and the other abdominal surgeries, the nurses wouldn't let me drink until I had passed the swallow test. The "bedside" version of this test requires the patient to swallow applesauce doped with mega-blue dye. Then they ask you to cough. If the blue dye ends up anywhere other than DOWN your throat, then no solid foods, ice, water, etc.

I began my swallow testing while Marc and Carol came to visit. I wasn't uncomfortable, but I really wanted something to drink. I was stoned out of my mind on Fentanyl and other narcotics of the day. Meanwhile Marc kept making jokes about ArtTrail and offering to go "help" with customers.

I wanted to laugh so hard, but the drugs kept me nearly paralyzed. Even now, remembering that moment, I can hear the laughing in my mind, knowing full well I couldn't tell Marc how funny he was. Thank God for good friends. Each and every time Marc and Carol showed up, everything in my world improved.

Yesterday Marc surprised me by just showing up to check up on me. After talking indoors for a while about all my current maladies and general feelings of malaise, we went outside into some seriously shocking sunshine. I had to catch a few images of Marc kickin' back with the alliums.

Misty Moisty Morning

detail from the image below

Sometimes, when I get up, I aim for the studio and miss. Today I was dead-certain I was pulling handles at 8am. Ended up in the garden with my macro lens strapped to my head. Next thing I know, it's pushing 10am and I have a flash card full of images.

Rain finally

We have been waiting for rain for weeks. It is very unusual for spring to be this dry. This morning there was a light mist and mega-humidity. Always a good time to try to catch the morning's new blooms!

Catching a moment for myself

Today has been one of those days I seldom see. I have had a few brief moments where I could sit and think. Time could pass, I was allowed to watch and for an instant, nothing was demanded of me. With three apprentices in the studio, we are constantly moving pots into and out of the kiln. The studio is a disaster; clay and glaze are everywhere. Some part of me LOVES this and another part is just aghast at how I have totally abandoned any semblance of control.

This is what was running through my head as I laid down on the grass this morning with camera in hand. This dandelion just seemed to speak volumes of control and letting go. For all of our social taboos admonishing us to abolish weeds from our manicured golf-course lawns... I just cant do it. Some weeds I don't like because they have spiky leaves. Other weeds out-compete our favorite flowers. But dandelions are quiet. They have bright yellow flowers. Their seed heads float on the wind everywhere this time of year. To this end, today I listened to the dandelion.